krystalkatzficz | Keep the Faith part 16

“You deserve happiness so go and take it…”

Nino heard Takenaka’s words swirling around and around in his mind as he stared at the door of Jun’s classroom his stomach churning violently. He and his boss had come back shortly after he had delivered his pearls of wisdom and Nino had come straight to the mathematics block in search of his friend. The sweet confession was also swirling inside his head and he was well and truly wanting to throw up. There was so much that he would have to explain to Jun he would have to beg for him to never ever hate him. Though that was probably something impossible, everybody almost ended up hating him in the end. Taking a steely breath, he knocked on the door and then pushed it open. His head poked around the wood and like always his eyes searched out for Jun. He was sitting at the front of the class his face rapt with attention as his hand moved over the page and Nino was almost reluctant to speak up but the teacher saw him and called him in with a smile and a wave her glossy black hair being tossed over her shoulder;

“Ninomiya-kun? Is there something that I can do for you?”

“I…Um…Takenaka…I…I…He wouldn’t…He wanted to talk to Jun…He asked that I come and collect him…” Nino fumbled not knowing what else to say. It was a completely stupid lie, Jun had absolutely no connection to the history department except for him. The teacher looked confused for a moment her eyes going to the clock that Nino knew was on the wall above the door.

“Can’t it wait until the lesson has ended?”

“…Um I asked that…But…You know what Takenaka’s like…” Nino shrugged helplessly hoping that the math teacher had come into contact with Takenaka and knew his completely bizarre ways. The man was completely bi-polar sometimes. It appeared that the woman had heard of Takenaka as she gave a frown but a nod at the same time muttering something about unreasonable co-teachers.

“Matsumoto-kun you should go…Collect your things and head out…” She said and slowly Jun did as he was told gathering his books into his bag and getting up from behind the desk and coming over to him with his feet shuffling on the floor. His face was a mix of complex and unreadable and Nino swallowed wondering if he would want to date him at all now. Jun didn’t even acknowledge his presence as he walked out into the hallway and breathed deep trying to get as much courage as possible into his body. It didn’t seem to be successful but he was able to walk next to him down to the stairs and somehow he was able to ask the normal dull question of;

“How was your lesson?”

“I don’t know…I thought you were busy…”

“I…Was…Sort of…The boss man…He…Wanted…To talk sense into me…” Nino breathed stamping hard on the floor as he desperately tried to tell Jun what he wanted to. “I’ve been in therapy since I was 14 years old…” Nino whispered pressing the button of the elevator “…Ever since I first tried to kill myself…I still hate myself so much that I get drunk to the point of almost blacking out and then sleep with as many men as possible, in fact I don’t just sleep with them…I let them do whatever they want to me…”

“Nino? What the fuck?” Jun hissed staring at him with the kind of horror on his face that he normally reserved for spiders and Nino gave a bitter smile his whole stomach twisting with the sickly panic that at one time he had always felt. It was crucifying and he didn’t know how he was ever going to get out of it. Before Jun had been his cure but now he was the problem. “If you don’t want to date me fine but you don’t have to make shit up…”

“I wish that I was making it up…I really do…But I’m not…So…Yeah…The thing is though…I actually really do…Love you…But I don’t deserve you…”

TBC
A/N: hmmm…I hope that this is okay ^_^