(Request fic) Hanging by a thread

[krystalkatz.livejournal.com]

Title: Hanging by a thread

Author: KrystalKatz

Length: chaptered

Pairing: Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari

Rating: NC17

Genre: AU, MPREG

Disclaimer: I Only own the plot, title is Hanging by a thread by Billy Talent

Warning: Rape

A/N: Requested by heysay_aoi who requested matsumiya with rape and MPREG

Ninomiya Kazunari walked through the snow watching his daughter, Toshiko, giggling and laughing as she tried to catch the snow flakes. It had been years since he had been back here but he still the area so well. Memories were cascading all around him threatening to overwhelm him but he pushed them away focusing on the girl that was laughing her tiny pink tongue sticking out catching a large flake on her tongue and frowning when it froze her. Nino laughed his eyes shining as he looked around his breath catching when he saw the reason that he hadn’t been back here, the reason he had his daughter in the first place. Matsumoto Jun.

“Kazu…” Jun breathed his tongue scraping over his lips and Nino took a few steps backwards his heart hammering against his chest, it was the half fear and half excitement that he was seeing Jun again. Looking around Jun’s arm he saw Toshiko carefully making a tiny snowman her bright giggle filling the air “I…Um…How are you?”

“Fine…Fine…I have to go…” Nino said his eyes on Toshiko making sure that she didn’t vanish at any other time he would have stayed and talked more but Toshiko was here and she had to be getting cold.

“Kazu please…Let me apologise…I know you won’t be able to forgive me…” Jun begged and Nino shook at the words a sick feeling filling his senses wondering how Jun could try and offer an apology for what he did. Something’s were unforgivable and that was one of them. Taking a deep breath he pushed away his fear and anger looking at his daughter he knew that he had to be brave

“Toshiko” He carefully accented the name hoping that Jun would form the conclusion that he wanted him too, and judging by the pain that flashed in his eyes he did, he brushed passed the taller man and took the girls hand before turning and saying calmly and firmly “Goodbye, Jun”

~Four Years earlier~

Ninomiya Kazunari and Matsumoto Jun had been best friends since they had met when they were three years old on their first day of nursery school. They fought and there were tears but somehow they always managed to muddle through and their friendship continued throughout school and eventually college. Nino knew that he loved Jun as more than a friend but he could never bring himself to tell him that thinking that Jun wouldn’t want him in that way. In his last year of college he met Ohno Satoshi a teacher’s assistant and they became close, Nino thought that there was nothing that he couldn’t  tell Ohno and more often than not their conversations revolved around Jun with Ohno trying to tell him that he should tell him how he felt.

Nino sighed as he left Ohno’s apartment after yet another night of Ohno telling him to just be open about how he felt. Nino brushed his fingers through his hair trying to work out how to just do that. He tucked into his coat more tightly looking up at the sky which had been threatening snow all day he liked the cold it suited him and at least when it was cold you could make yourself warm unlike when it was hot and nothing could make you cool. He hurried home to the small apartment that he had shared with Jun since they had started college. Like Ohno had just said ‘You already live together you might as well date’

The walk home was shorter than he would have liked, he wanted more time to clear his mind but he decided that Ohno was right he had to talk to Jun as soon as possible. He ran up the stairs two at a time a huge smile on his face as he pushed the door open with a loud bang that rocked the hinges

“I’m home!” He called brightly looking around for his roommate and hopefully soon to be boyfriend shocked to see him sitting in one of the grey chairs nursing a drink. His eyes shadowed, his face set into a scowl

“Where were you? Wait you don’t have to tell me…with Ohno…Why do you even bother coming back? I’m sure that his bed is warm…” Jun snapped slamming the glass down and Nino flinched at the tone

“Jun…” Nino tried strangely afraid when Jun stood up and walked towards him his eyes flashing with anger

“For years…For years I and then… Fuck…Just let me have one night, one night with you…” Jun whispered grabbing his shoulders and pulling him into a hot demanding kiss biting and sucking at his lips…”

“J..Let..Me..go…” Nino begged pushing at his shoulders but his fear and Jun’s drink addled brain prevented it from being convincing and Jun stripped him within a matter of moments pushing him down on to the sofa. If this had happened in any other way it would have been the happiest moment of his life, but that it was happening this way was the cruellest kind of joke imaginable. He could only pretend that it wasn’t happening. He pretended that Jun’s fingers weren’t invading into him, he pretended that he couldn’t feel his mouth suckling at his nipple and he pretended that Jun’s hand wasn’t pumping at his cock. Jun settled in between his legs his fingers sliding out of him and Nino looked up pleading with him to stop but Jun just kissed him again.

“Kazu” He growled pushing his hips forward and Nino gave a scream as pain flooded into his lower half feeling as if he was being ripped in two. His heart was shattering into a million tiny pieces he loved Jun so much but he couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. He tried to block it out his eyes closed tightly blocking out everything that was going on, just wanting it to be over as soon as possible.

His wish wasn’t granted, Jun just ploughed into him, over and over again his cock feeling as though it was splitting him apart he cried, sobbed and pleaded but it didn’t end until the sun was spilling in through the large window.

Jun pulled out, his eyes wide with horror as he looked down at the broken body of the man in front of him and Nino could see that there was an apology on his lips but Nino couldn’t stand to hear it. He pushed Jun away causing him to land on the floor in a heap. Slowly he struggled away from the sofa, pain rippling inside his body as he tried to pull on some clothes. He managed to get into a t-shirt and some jeans but he didn’t stop for his shoes and stumbled out into the street knowing that there was only one place that he could go.

Nino stumbled into Ohno’s arms letting out a heart wrenching sob his body shaking and aching. Ohno didn’t ask questions there wasn’t any point once he heard the moan of ‘Jun’ and he half understood. He wrapped his arms around his friend and held him tightly murmuring soothing things although he knew that there was nothing that he could say that would make this okay.

Nino cried himself to sleep in the older man’s waking when the pain of their coupling woke him and then he washed himself, scrubbing his skin until he was red and bleeding. He would have carried on if Ohno hadn’t pulled him out of the freezing cold bath and all but pushed him into the spare bedroom. Nino curled up onto the quilt staring at the wall wondering how any of this could be okay ever again.

A/N: This is a request fic and although I said they would only be one shots… the subject matter was a little heavy as I have mixed feelings about rape fic’s, I can never glorify them but I really wanted to fulfil the request so I hope you don’t mind that it’s a little longer…It is a MatsuMiya fic and after three parts it becomes lighter...

Comments

[valee94.livejournal.com]

so sad the theme is about rape
but i can't resist your matsumiya <3333
so is this going to be chaptered XD oh i'm so happy >_<

thank you so much for writing this ^^

[krystalkatz.livejournal.com]

Sorry, >.< jun did a pretty horrible thing ne >.<
it's going to be difficult for Nino but I hope that you'll think it's worth reading xD
Yep it's going to be chaptered xD
Thanks for reading ^,^

[tempestade-13.livejournal.com]

I do not see a happy ending for Matsumiya on this fic .
I do not know if I'll continue to read, but congratulations for writing about a subject so difficult to address.

[krystalkatz.livejournal.com]

>.< I understand if you decide not to continue reading >.< it is very difficult subject ne
Thank-you :-)
^.^

[kokkaii.livejournal.com]

I've been wanting to read a fic that deals with rape seriously. It's a very traumatising event and it's often written as a catalyst to a romantic relationship. That concept baffles me all the time. I have to commend you though for refusing to glorify rape and taking and dealing with it seriously.

To be honest, I can't see this ending with both of them in a romantic relationship, what with Jun has done, but I'm looking forward to reading about how Nino had grown and dealt with his trauma ^_^

Thanks for writing.

[krystalkatz.livejournal.com]

I have to admit that I find it difficult to enjoy stories when the victim seems to automatically fall in love with the rapist. Rape is a very difficult thing to deal with and the saviours have to come to terms with a lot before they can move on so I do find it unsettling when rape is overly sexualised

It's not going to very fluffy but I hope that I do justice in showing what a person has to go through before they get better. I hope that you do continue to read :-D

Thanks for reading ^.^

[kokkaii.livejournal.com]

Well said. There's been a pattern of rape leading up to love recently and I've often wondered if I was the only one who couldn't read those types of things. It's good to know I'm not ^_^

I'd like to think that love is borne from complete trust and adoration and a constant flow of giving and taking, and it really breaks my heart that some people think it comes from betrayal and brutality. I'd like to think that it doesn't; heck, even BDSM comes from trust and getting pleasure from being treated a certain way. I don't know if I'll ever come to terms with fics that deal with rape so flippantly.

[krystalkatz.livejournal.com]

I thought I was alone in that too, I can't imagine anything worse then all choice being taken away from you and when it's by somebody you love it's worse

I agree I've always thought that a relationship was about being equals...
I had a very blinkered veiw on BDSM relationships but then to write a fic I looked into it and I realised that there is a great deal of trust in each other that is needed those kinds of relationships are very extreme but I think the emotions are just the same

Though I guess people may think that for someone in their 20s I have a naive veiw on relationships

[momokan69.livejournal.com]

I actually interest in it though as you said the subject matter is heavy
I wonder how Nino will ended up with Jun, eventhough he loved Jun what Jun did indeed unforgivable...
And judging by Jun's reaction... did Nino named Toshiko after Ohno?
Will look forward to neext, Thanks for writing n sharing ^^
Btw, I wonder if the request still open? Thx~ ^^

[krystalkatz.livejournal.com]

It is going to be very difficult for Nino to come to terms with what happened and move on because like you said what Jun did was unforgivable
Yep Toshiko is named after leader, I promise that Nino's reasoning for that will become clear
I hope that you will like the rest xD
Yep the request post is still open its on the main master post xD
Thanks for reading ^.^

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you so much!!
I didn't think you will actually writing my req, because I think my prompt is just really absurd, but you do!!
Thank you so much! ;////;
Really, I don't know how to thank you!><

I'm so sorry for making you write this heavy prompt ><
I didn't think It will be this hard, I'm so sorry Q_Q

But, you know what? This fic is seriously what I've always wanted to read, and you are able to describe the story exatly the same way I want it to be, You're amazing!! I can't wait to know how this story will be going <3
Waiting for your update >w<

Once again, Thank you so much ;////;
And also Sorry >< I hope you will not hate me after this, hehe (u_u)a

[krystalkatz.livejournal.com]

Of course I would write it, it wasn't absurd at all it just took me awhile to think of a plot that would fulfil your request xD

I just want to do justice to those that survive because I think they are incredibly brave people xD

I'm so glad that this is what you wanted to read and thank-you for your praise I hope I continue to write what you want xD

I won't hate you! Thank you for your prompt xD

Krys ^.^