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krystalkatzficzSho stared at his lover in silence not knowing what to say. It had been that way since they had left the Ohno’s and even before when the video had run its course and the player had rewound it back to the start. Nino had lapsed into silence while still trying to hold himself together. They had made it out of the house and all the way back to their apartment before he had broken falling into his arms and sobbing so loudly that Sho was sure that his heart was about to break right along with his lover’s. They had stayed in a heap in front of the front door for what seemed and felt like hours. Nino had cried himself horse now and was hiccuping like a baby his fingers buried deep in his hair to the point that it was almost painful as his body continued to tremble violently causing Sho to wonder when, or if, his lover had last cried over Ohno.
The video had been a surprise for him but seeing it and hearing the quiet words of a man that hadn’t had long left to live but wanted to reassure Nino the way that he had was incredible and it was easy to see why Nino had been so in love with him.
“Sho…Thank-you…” Nino rasped out his voice muffled against his chest and Sho smiled nuzzling his mouth into the downcast head his arms tightening around him as he asked;
“What for?”
“For coming today…For being there…For not rushing me…I don’t know which, all of them? Or maybe even none of them…I don’t know…I just…Want to thank you…” Nino answered with a broken laugh his face rubbing against him wiping snot and tears into the fabric and Sho’s arms became even tighter around him kissing him again as he said;
“Any time…I’ll always be here Kazu…”
“I know that, you’ve always been here for me for 8 years…” Nino said in wonder, sounding truly surprised by that as if he had only just realised that “…I was only with Oh-chan for 2…We’ve been together for 4 times longer than that...”
“…It’s not the time together that’s important, Kazu…” Sho whispered knowing what his lover was driving at “You were in love with him and that feeling doesn’t just go away no matter how long you’re with somebody else…”
“But I should have been able to love you…”
“You have…In many ways... the words aren’t that important…” Sho whispered trying to reassure him his hands continuing to slide up and down his back his lips pressing in short bursts to the temple of his lover who had looked up at him now. Nino shook his head swiftly denying it.
“They are…They are so important that it’s stupid…Three little words…They really shouldn’t be important but they are…”
“Kazu, when we got together I knew that you were forcing yourself, that in reality your mind was somewhere else…With someone else but…I didn’t care because I had you at least physically…” Sho admitted a stain of blush on his cheeks as he thought about it, it was an embarrassing thing to admit but he’d never had much luck with men, or at least not with ones that didn’t just want him for one night stands. He tended to be called smothering with his affection so he had been surprised when Nino had agreed to date him more so because the slightly younger man seemed lost whenever he saw him with Jun “…But slowly you started opening up to me and I although I never heard you say the words I was convinced that you loved me…I know that I’ve doubted it a few times, I have to admit that, but when you finally told me about Ohno I understood…”
“…I wasn’t forcing myself to be with you Sho, Okay…The first date I did…I only did it to make Jun happy but from that first date you helped me…You changed me right from that first overly awkward dinner…”
“I am sorry about that…” Sho mumbled thinking about their first date, it had been very awkward with both of them not knowing how to react and unsure of each other. Nino gave a laugh shaking his head again one hand freeing itself to press against his cheek and Sho smiled as the small but chunky thumb made gentle movements around his jaw line.
“I’m not…I liked you when you were all fumbling and blushing...It was what made me give you a second chance and then a third and a fourth…I was so messed up back then, it felt like I was clay pot that had been smashed…Jun held me together during that time but you fixed me…” Nino breathed and Sho rubbed their noses together “I hurt you so much, I was so selfish and I didn’t even realise it…”
“You were hurt…” Sho whispered almost laughing at the pout and glare that Nino gave him. It wasn’t meant to be funny, he knew that but with the blotchy face and puffy swollen eyes it looked it.
“Please stop giving me excuses…” Nino sighed struggling out of his arms and sitting on his legs his head bowed a deeply. “I am sorry, Sho…I’m sorry that I wasted 8 years of our lives together…I’m sorry that I hurt you…I wish that I could take it all back but since that is completely impossible I…If you’ll have me…I think that I can start again…”
“Kaz…”
“Please let me finish…” Nino growled placing his hand over his lips and Sho fell silent watching him as he turned the thoughts in his head into a complete sentence “I’m not perfect, I mean nobody is…But me more than most…I’ve done so many things that have hurt you and you continuously take it, I didn’t mean to do it but that doesn’t excuse it…When Satoshi died I honestly wanted to go with him, I would have done if it hadn’t been for you, you gave me the reason to carry on and yet I still haven’t been able to tell you…”
“Kazu...You don’t have to force it…” Sho mumbled around the hand his tongue brushing over the palm tasting salt from both tears and sweat. The hand didn’t move though as Nino rapidly shook his head so fast that it looked like it was almost painful
“I’m not, I wouldn’t force anything like this…I’m the person that had kept you guessing for 8 years after all…Jun told me something yesterday before I knew about the video, he said that I would be doing the same as Oh-chan and he was right…I wouldn’t want you to go through not knowing how I feel…So…Here goes…I…I love you…” Nino told him shakily though his eyes were certain focused entirely on his and Sho could see no doubt in …I love you with all of my heart…”
“Not all of it…” Sho hissed with surprise around the hand that was still clamped over his mouth. He wouldn’t accept that because he knew that it wasn’t true “I don’t expect…”
“All of it…The same as I love Oh-chan with all of my heart…I’m so lucky, Sho, some people never meet their soul mates…I got two…”
“…Wow…When you say something you really go for it ne?” Sho chuckled swallowing the lump down from his neck as he removed the hand from his mouth holding it gently in his own. Their fingers intertwined on the doormat as Nino gave a small half shrug looking a little sheepish the apples of his cheeks a rose pink colour as brown eyes wide and shiny with the tears he had been shedding but clear and shining with the love that he had always wanted to see. “…You are my reason for living too...My soul mate…I love you…And you’re right there is something almost magical about hearing those words…”
“I love you, I love you Sho…I love you so much…I’m sorry…” Nino gasped over and over and Sho shut him up by smacking their mouths together and giving him a long and sensual kiss, it was deeper than the first one that they had ever shared but for some reason that was all Sho could picture in his mind. It had been raining and Nino’s lips were wet with rain causing it to be a sloppy kiss, rather like now with the fresh wave of tears that were flowing down his cheeks, but like now it was a perfect show of their feelings.
Nino moaned into the kiss his heart finally complete beating in time with the gentle rhythm of Sho’s heart. There was no doubt in his mind anymore, no pain in his heart now, he was confident that Ohno would be okay with this, he could picture him in his mind a smile on his tanned face nodding happily at him giving him a thumbs up and he knew that it was okay for him to continue living with the reason he was able to smile and love at all and he was going to treasure it.
THE END
A/N: Finally finished! I hope that this was a happier ending than it was a starting! I really will learn to keep a one shot a one shot!
The video had been a surprise for him but seeing it and hearing the quiet words of a man that hadn’t had long left to live but wanted to reassure Nino the way that he had was incredible and it was easy to see why Nino had been so in love with him.
“Sho…Thank-you…” Nino rasped out his voice muffled against his chest and Sho smiled nuzzling his mouth into the downcast head his arms tightening around him as he asked;
“What for?”
“For coming today…For being there…For not rushing me…I don’t know which, all of them? Or maybe even none of them…I don’t know…I just…Want to thank you…” Nino answered with a broken laugh his face rubbing against him wiping snot and tears into the fabric and Sho’s arms became even tighter around him kissing him again as he said;
“Any time…I’ll always be here Kazu…”
“I know that, you’ve always been here for me for 8 years…” Nino said in wonder, sounding truly surprised by that as if he had only just realised that “…I was only with Oh-chan for 2…We’ve been together for 4 times longer than that...”
“…It’s not the time together that’s important, Kazu…” Sho whispered knowing what his lover was driving at “You were in love with him and that feeling doesn’t just go away no matter how long you’re with somebody else…”
“But I should have been able to love you…”
“You have…In many ways... the words aren’t that important…” Sho whispered trying to reassure him his hands continuing to slide up and down his back his lips pressing in short bursts to the temple of his lover who had looked up at him now. Nino shook his head swiftly denying it.
“They are…They are so important that it’s stupid…Three little words…They really shouldn’t be important but they are…”
“Kazu, when we got together I knew that you were forcing yourself, that in reality your mind was somewhere else…With someone else but…I didn’t care because I had you at least physically…” Sho admitted a stain of blush on his cheeks as he thought about it, it was an embarrassing thing to admit but he’d never had much luck with men, or at least not with ones that didn’t just want him for one night stands. He tended to be called smothering with his affection so he had been surprised when Nino had agreed to date him more so because the slightly younger man seemed lost whenever he saw him with Jun “…But slowly you started opening up to me and I although I never heard you say the words I was convinced that you loved me…I know that I’ve doubted it a few times, I have to admit that, but when you finally told me about Ohno I understood…”
“…I wasn’t forcing myself to be with you Sho, Okay…The first date I did…I only did it to make Jun happy but from that first date you helped me…You changed me right from that first overly awkward dinner…”
“I am sorry about that…” Sho mumbled thinking about their first date, it had been very awkward with both of them not knowing how to react and unsure of each other. Nino gave a laugh shaking his head again one hand freeing itself to press against his cheek and Sho smiled as the small but chunky thumb made gentle movements around his jaw line.
“I’m not…I liked you when you were all fumbling and blushing...It was what made me give you a second chance and then a third and a fourth…I was so messed up back then, it felt like I was clay pot that had been smashed…Jun held me together during that time but you fixed me…” Nino breathed and Sho rubbed their noses together “I hurt you so much, I was so selfish and I didn’t even realise it…”
“You were hurt…” Sho whispered almost laughing at the pout and glare that Nino gave him. It wasn’t meant to be funny, he knew that but with the blotchy face and puffy swollen eyes it looked it.
“Please stop giving me excuses…” Nino sighed struggling out of his arms and sitting on his legs his head bowed a deeply. “I am sorry, Sho…I’m sorry that I wasted 8 years of our lives together…I’m sorry that I hurt you…I wish that I could take it all back but since that is completely impossible I…If you’ll have me…I think that I can start again…”
“Kaz…”
“Please let me finish…” Nino growled placing his hand over his lips and Sho fell silent watching him as he turned the thoughts in his head into a complete sentence “I’m not perfect, I mean nobody is…But me more than most…I’ve done so many things that have hurt you and you continuously take it, I didn’t mean to do it but that doesn’t excuse it…When Satoshi died I honestly wanted to go with him, I would have done if it hadn’t been for you, you gave me the reason to carry on and yet I still haven’t been able to tell you…”
“Kazu...You don’t have to force it…” Sho mumbled around the hand his tongue brushing over the palm tasting salt from both tears and sweat. The hand didn’t move though as Nino rapidly shook his head so fast that it looked like it was almost painful
“I’m not, I wouldn’t force anything like this…I’m the person that had kept you guessing for 8 years after all…Jun told me something yesterday before I knew about the video, he said that I would be doing the same as Oh-chan and he was right…I wouldn’t want you to go through not knowing how I feel…So…Here goes…I…I love you…” Nino told him shakily though his eyes were certain focused entirely on his and Sho could see no doubt in …I love you with all of my heart…”
“Not all of it…” Sho hissed with surprise around the hand that was still clamped over his mouth. He wouldn’t accept that because he knew that it wasn’t true “I don’t expect…”
“All of it…The same as I love Oh-chan with all of my heart…I’m so lucky, Sho, some people never meet their soul mates…I got two…”
“…Wow…When you say something you really go for it ne?” Sho chuckled swallowing the lump down from his neck as he removed the hand from his mouth holding it gently in his own. Their fingers intertwined on the doormat as Nino gave a small half shrug looking a little sheepish the apples of his cheeks a rose pink colour as brown eyes wide and shiny with the tears he had been shedding but clear and shining with the love that he had always wanted to see. “…You are my reason for living too...My soul mate…I love you…And you’re right there is something almost magical about hearing those words…”
“I love you, I love you Sho…I love you so much…I’m sorry…” Nino gasped over and over and Sho shut him up by smacking their mouths together and giving him a long and sensual kiss, it was deeper than the first one that they had ever shared but for some reason that was all Sho could picture in his mind. It had been raining and Nino’s lips were wet with rain causing it to be a sloppy kiss, rather like now with the fresh wave of tears that were flowing down his cheeks, but like now it was a perfect show of their feelings.
Nino moaned into the kiss his heart finally complete beating in time with the gentle rhythm of Sho’s heart. There was no doubt in his mind anymore, no pain in his heart now, he was confident that Ohno would be okay with this, he could picture him in his mind a smile on his tanned face nodding happily at him giving him a thumbs up and he knew that it was okay for him to continue living with the reason he was able to smile and love at all and he was going to treasure it.
THE END
A/N: Finally finished! I hope that this was a happier ending than it was a starting! I really will learn to keep a one shot a one shot!
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no subject
Date: 2014-05-19 10:07 am (UTC)What a beautiful, pure and sensitive story!
I'm really happy that Kazu finally realized his true feelings and that love is adding not spliting!
Otsukare-sama!!!
Wonderful job, my dear!
no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 10:33 am (UTC)Yup Nino finally realised that just because you're moving on it doesn't mean you have to forget ne :D
:DDDDD
Thanks for reading ^_^
no subject
Date: 2014-05-19 10:57 am (UTC)thank you.
and ganbatte for your One Shot !! a truly one shot, ne? hehe xD looking forward to it
no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 10:27 am (UTC)I'm really happy that you've enjoyed it :D
Hehehe I'm going to try, I really shouldn't promise things like that though :D
Thanks for reading ^_^
no subject
Date: 2014-05-19 11:02 am (UTC)But.. I can't stop to think of Oh'chan, life is unfair ;__;
Thank you for this amazing story ! Even if I've cried so much xD
XOXO
no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 10:42 am (UTC)>.< I'm so sorry...Life isn't fair sometimes ne >.<
I'm happy that you've enjoyed it even if you've cried so much >.<
Thanks for reading ^_^
no subject
Date: 2014-05-19 11:11 am (UTC)I really love the part where Nino confessed and Sho shut him up with a kiss, I'm glad that Nino finally said those words Sho deserves that :').
I don't think I will cry this much if you wrote this fic in one shot xDDD.
Otsukaresama deshita Krys, love this fic so much!!!
no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 10:23 am (UTC)hehe would that be a good thing or not?
I'm really happy that you enjoyed it :D
Thanks for reading ^_^
no subject
Date: 2014-05-19 02:02 pm (UTC)*reads on only to take the whole tissue box and start grabbing a handful of tissues*
BEAUTIFUL. JUST. BEAUTIFUL. *SNIFF SNIFF*
Thanks so much for writing this- and pardon the invisible ninjas chopping onions around me.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 10:31 am (UTC)I'm very happy that you enjoyed it :D
Thanks for reading ^_^
no subject
Date: 2014-05-19 03:13 pm (UTC)Ohno video helps a lot ne :3
no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 10:24 am (UTC)Ohno was looking over his Nino making sure that he could be happy :D
Thanks for reading ^_^
no subject
Date: 2014-05-19 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 10:04 am (UTC)Thanks for reading ^_^
no subject
Date: 2014-05-19 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 09:54 am (UTC)I'm happy you enjoyed :D
Thanks for reading ^_^
no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 05:57 am (UTC)I like all characters in this story.
Thanks for sharing!
no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 10:43 am (UTC):D I've enjoyed writing it though I now need to write lots of OhMiya fluff to clear my mind!
Thanks for reading ^_^
no subject
Date: 2014-05-20 03:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-05-09 09:32 pm (UTC)