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krystalkatzficz2016-06-25 11:17 am
krystalkatz.livejournal.com) wrote in krystalkatzficz2016-06-25 11:17 am
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Keep the faith part 69
Jun's PoV
Jun waited with almost baited breath for Nino’s answer. There was a fifty-fifty chance that he would be rejected but he wouldn’t let it end here. For the last four years he had come back and stood outside the apartment only ever making it onto the stairs once before. He had hoped that Nino would go to the social events that the rest of their group put on but of course he never had. It was only for the first half a year that he had believed the lie that Nino had told him after that he had realised what his lover had done but it had been hard, he was still young himself and there had been a crushing feeling surrounding him whenever he had returned home from work. On some days it had gotten so bad that he dreaded going home and had stayed longer and longer in the office doing jobs that didn’t need doing he had still loved Nino but there had been very little left of the man that he loved…Or so he had thought.
In the end he had gotten counselling of his own, and realised that they were in a toxic relationship where he was enabling Nino to sink further into depression and not get better and by doing so he himself was falling into depression after he had healed himself he had then taken classes in the subject wanting to understand Nino and what made his mind tick. Clinical depression was the major cause, but there was interweaving problems that had all clustered together and now he wanted to be the one that helped untangle them and helped him to get better. He was no longer a scared little kid himself he was somebody that wanted to help the only person that he had ever been in love with. He moved forward again his hand reaching out to touch the small of his back hating the fact that he could feel his bones beneath his skin.
“…Kazu…”
“…I won’t…” Nino breathed his head hanging slowly and Jun felt his heart sink like a stone before lifting slowly as he allowed Nino to finish “I won’t move in with you…But…I will…I will move away from here and I’ll try but…It’s…It’s not going to be easy…”
“I know…But we’ll take it one step at a time…” He whispered slowly “I can find you an apartment near me…but not right on top of me and then we can try dating again…When you’re up for it…And Emily…She needs walks right? We can walk her together…”
“…I…I would like that…” Nino whispered and slowly Jun reached out and pulled his slippery wet body against him tucking his head under his chin. He wanted to cry himself or at least enjoy the moment for a little bit longer but he knew that there was still a long way to go. “…I have to make this place sellable…”
“We’ll help…We’ll always help you...All you’ve ever needed to do is ask…” Jun whispered making sure that he wasn’t sounding berating or judgmental. He knew that this must have taken every ounce of courage that Nino had left inside of him and he wasn’t going to give him an excuse to shrink back into it. He knew that it might take weeks or even months to get Nino to move but at least now he was actually being open to the idea. The hording was something else that would take them awhile to overcome but bit by bit, step by step, they could overcome it together. “…I’ve never stopped loving you, Kazu…I’m sorry that it took so long for me to return to you…But I will never leave again…”
TBC
A/N: I hope that this explains Jun and nobody thinks he was being too selfish he was hurting to, I said at the start of this story that this was based on some real events and this is one of them. My former boyfriend Paul who I loved and still love deeply, left me when I was bad and then returned to being my friend later...I never blamed him for his choice and by us having that break and time away from each other it helped us to see that he wasn't helping by being there and letting me do what I was doing...Now he does...He outright tells me when I'm being an idiot or allows me to just sit and cry with him...I trust him more now than I did then becaue I know that he will always be honest with me.
I know that this isn't the case with some people but this was based on my experiences Thank-you Krys <3
Jun waited with almost baited breath for Nino’s answer. There was a fifty-fifty chance that he would be rejected but he wouldn’t let it end here. For the last four years he had come back and stood outside the apartment only ever making it onto the stairs once before. He had hoped that Nino would go to the social events that the rest of their group put on but of course he never had. It was only for the first half a year that he had believed the lie that Nino had told him after that he had realised what his lover had done but it had been hard, he was still young himself and there had been a crushing feeling surrounding him whenever he had returned home from work. On some days it had gotten so bad that he dreaded going home and had stayed longer and longer in the office doing jobs that didn’t need doing he had still loved Nino but there had been very little left of the man that he loved…Or so he had thought.
In the end he had gotten counselling of his own, and realised that they were in a toxic relationship where he was enabling Nino to sink further into depression and not get better and by doing so he himself was falling into depression after he had healed himself he had then taken classes in the subject wanting to understand Nino and what made his mind tick. Clinical depression was the major cause, but there was interweaving problems that had all clustered together and now he wanted to be the one that helped untangle them and helped him to get better. He was no longer a scared little kid himself he was somebody that wanted to help the only person that he had ever been in love with. He moved forward again his hand reaching out to touch the small of his back hating the fact that he could feel his bones beneath his skin.
“…Kazu…”
“…I won’t…” Nino breathed his head hanging slowly and Jun felt his heart sink like a stone before lifting slowly as he allowed Nino to finish “I won’t move in with you…But…I will…I will move away from here and I’ll try but…It’s…It’s not going to be easy…”
“I know…But we’ll take it one step at a time…” He whispered slowly “I can find you an apartment near me…but not right on top of me and then we can try dating again…When you’re up for it…And Emily…She needs walks right? We can walk her together…”
“…I…I would like that…” Nino whispered and slowly Jun reached out and pulled his slippery wet body against him tucking his head under his chin. He wanted to cry himself or at least enjoy the moment for a little bit longer but he knew that there was still a long way to go. “…I have to make this place sellable…”
“We’ll help…We’ll always help you...All you’ve ever needed to do is ask…” Jun whispered making sure that he wasn’t sounding berating or judgmental. He knew that this must have taken every ounce of courage that Nino had left inside of him and he wasn’t going to give him an excuse to shrink back into it. He knew that it might take weeks or even months to get Nino to move but at least now he was actually being open to the idea. The hording was something else that would take them awhile to overcome but bit by bit, step by step, they could overcome it together. “…I’ve never stopped loving you, Kazu…I’m sorry that it took so long for me to return to you…But I will never leave again…”
TBC
A/N: I hope that this explains Jun and nobody thinks he was being too selfish he was hurting to, I said at the start of this story that this was based on some real events and this is one of them. My former boyfriend Paul who I loved and still love deeply, left me when I was bad and then returned to being my friend later...I never blamed him for his choice and by us having that break and time away from each other it helped us to see that he wasn't helping by being there and letting me do what I was doing...Now he does...He outright tells me when I'm being an idiot or allows me to just sit and cry with him...I trust him more now than I did then becaue I know that he will always be honest with me.
I know that this isn't the case with some people but this was based on my experiences Thank-you Krys <3
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So he did believed it at the beginning, I feel bad for him and the all way he got affected but glad he did all that and is ready now, this explains a lot, sasuga krys-sama >w