Eros part 20

[krystalkatz.livejournal.com]

Nino groaned loudly untangling himself from his lover’s arms and shifting over in the bed until he was almost hovering on the edge of the mattress. But since they were in Jun’s apartment…Soon to be their apartment the floor would have made for a soft landing. As much as he was a hugger and loved attention tonight the heat had almost caused their bodies to stick together and not in the good way. His dreams had been full of memories of the past and now more than ever Nino couldn’t work out how they had ended up in the rut that they were in. Or he was. Jun hadn’t seemed to notice how bored he was of it all. Oh he was still just as much in love with Jun as he had ever been but even that felt stale now.

Jun let out a loud snort in his sleep his hands moving over the sheets trying to find him. With a sigh Nino grabbed a pillow and shoved it against the octopus arms, that Jun would always deny he had, before getting out of the bed and very nearly tripping on a mountain of jeans. Careful not to disturb the mountains any further Nino scurried out of the bedroom. The living room was slightly cooler against his skin and he gave a happy sigh pushing his loose sweaty bangs out of his face. On the side were a packet of Jun’s cigarettes and a lighter and he grabbed them going out onto the balcony. The view was breath taking and the barbeque that had been set up in the corner was a strange but fun way to spend the summer months.
He took one of the overly expensive garden chairs and plonked himself down quickly lighting a cigarette breathing in the putrid smoke, holding it deep in his lungs before releasing it through his nose feeling the burn as he tried to work out when he had started thinking that he might need to take a few steps back from, Jun and everything that that meant. They were just kids when they got together, and it had all happened so fast and now they were stuck together just like their skin on an overly hot day. That image wasn’t a pretty one and with a hiss he pushed it away resting his elbows on his knees and staring out over the lights of the cars. Moving in together was a big step in cementing the permanency of their relationship and finally telling their parents, they might as well seal it in bronze.

Nino wasn’t worried about his mum and dad finding out he was gay, they had accepted Sachiko and Maria with grace and just last year they’d gone to their wedding in England, his dad lamenting the fact that they couldn’t have had it in Japan so he could have supplied the drink and although it might be a little different with him being their son he knew that he would have their support. The man that had supplied the seed for his birth though, there was a different kettle of fish all together.

Mochizuki Kazuhiro had oozed his way back into his life a few years ago after the break down of his second marriage and although Nino wanted nothing to with him in his heart he did kind of want to know his father even though he knew that he wasn’t worth it and he had made his position on homosexuals clear, they all needed a tight rope and a long drop. Nino had also come to realise that his uneasy feeling about him and Jun had started around that time too. His father had continued to tell him ‘How alike we are’ and ‘you’re just the same as me’ and the words had cut deep into Nino’s heart. He had been young when his father had left but he could still remember all the arguments and tears. What if he was just the same as his father? He already enjoyed looking at other guys even if he would never touch them. He and Jun had already arguments it, what if they got worse until he went with someone else? He would hate himself if he hurt Jun like that. He wished that it was as easy as it had been in college, back then he would have just gone and bugged Sachiko until she had given him some award winning advice or thrown a pillow at him.
There was movement from inside and Nino knew that Jun was stumbling his way, half asleep, through the mountains to reach him. They knew each other so well that that was overwhelming and terrifying, his heart would pound loudly against his ribs every time he realised that they had started to finish each other sentences. It was so stupid and he knew that it was but he couldn’t stop the nasty little voice inside his head that was telling him that it was all going to go wrong. The footsteps became slaps of bare feet against polished wood and then a presence was standing behind him.

“Hey…” Jun mumbled, his voice thick with sleep taking the cigarette from Nino’s hand and stealing the last few drags.

“Hey…Did I wake you?” Nino asked pushing away the mood long enough to turn and look at his lover with a smile.

“…You weren’t in bed…” Jun answered bluntly as he always did if he woke up before his set time.

“Sorry, J, it was too hot…I needed some air…” He said softly and Jun grunted stubbing the cigarette out and seemingly collapsing on top of him his chin resting on the top of his head. The heat was almost overwhelming and Nino squirmed out of his grip snapping “Jeez, Jun, go back to bed…”

“What’s up with you?” Jun asked with a grumble and Nino clicked his tongue taking another cigarette from the packet and lighting it as he walked over to the glass wall of the balcony and resting against it sucking furiously on the tip as he glared at his lover.

“I already told you that I was too hot…I didn’t want you to cling all over me…” He almost shouted only vaguely conscious of the fact that a lot of people had their windows open and it was around 3am.

“…Sorry…I just thought you looked depressed…” Jun muttered rubbing the back of his neck looking like a puppy that had just been kicked.

“It’s just the heat…” Nino sighed feeling guilty for his outburst he tried to smile but he knew that it was going to look a little forced and stretched on his lips. 

“Babe…It’s not just the heat…I know you better than that…” Jun said and Nino tried to ignore shudder that rippled through his body at that simple sentence. Normally people would be happy that they had someone that knew them so well but right now it was just oppressive, like a strait jacket tied around his chest.

“I’m just tired Jun…” He sighed blowing two streams of smoke out of his nostrils before realising what he was saying “I think after we get through account I’m taking a long holiday…Would Sir allow that?”

“…Where are you thinking about going?” Jun asked and Nino gave a shrug an answer forming on his lips before his brain had time to think of one.

“England I haven’t seen Sachi…What?” Nino broke off seeing the varying expressions warring on his Jun’s face. “What’s up?”

“Now I know there’s something wrong…You only ever go and see Lucy and Susan if there’s something wrong Edmund…” Jun answered and Nino managed a real smile at the mention of their nicknames “Is this because I asked you to move in or is it because I want to tell our parents? Because if it’s either of them you’d better tell me now…”

“It’s not, Peter…I want to live with you…I just want a holiday and I was kind of hoping that you would come with me…” Nino said compounding the feelings that was in his heart to cross the short distance between them and hug him tightly. Maybe that was all it was, maybe he was just tired and they needed some time alone together to be a couple again. “We could think of it as a ‘honeymoon’…”

“Really…You really want to go with me?” Jun asked hesitantly and Nino was trying hard to ignore how clingy his lover sounded.

“No I was planning on asking Aiba…” He sighed sarcastically rolling his eyes bringing their mouths together and tasting Jun’s lips before murmuring the only truth that he had in his heart at that moment “I love you…”

TBC
A/N: Very different from the college part ne >.< I hope that you still enjoy ^_^