krystalkatzficz | The Tutor part 11 (Reply)

To say that Kazunari slept fitfully would have been an understatement. His mind simply refused to settle and although the bed was surprisingly comfortable he couldn’t rest. He was aware that Ryo hadn’t returned after taking the tray and for the longest time he wondered if perhaps the other had gone for the constable. Eventually he told himself that that was nonsense, but then he wondered if perhaps the man had found somebody else more willing to accept his touches or more skilled. If that were the case he should have been relieved, after all it was unwise to act on the abnormal nature he had but he had agreed and his body couldn’t soon forget the feeling that Ryo’s hand on him had given him.

It was close to sunrise when he finally fell to sleep from sheer mental exhaustion and even his dreams didn’t offer him peace. In them he was in prison awaiting the noose and his own brother was to be the hangman. There was disgust and dissappointment in the eldest Ninomiya’s face and the sneer that formed was painful as he asked in a chilling voice;

“My mother gave her life for you...How cruel you are...”

“No, please, Eddie...I promise...I...” Kazunari sobbed his eyes opening as dream Edwin pulled the lever that would plunge him to his death. He sat up right in the bed his scream still on his tongue and he was shocked by the chubby face of Ryo in front of him. The man was in disarray clearly having been pulled from sleep and his eyes were shimmering with concern.

“Are you well?” The question was a stupid one given the fact that Kazunari was so distressed but Kazunari was touched by the obvious concern reflected in the man’s eyes. They were so close that he could see himself reflected in them and Kazunari flushed with guilt.

“I had a bad dream. I am sorry for disturbing you...”

“You did not and even if you did I would be glad of it. From your shouts the dream was a deeply unsettling one...Do you care to talk about it?” Ryo asked and Kazunari gave a sharp swallow pulling his eyes away from Ryo’s as he related his dream to the older man. Ryo listened in silence his compassion growing until Kazunari finished his tale and then he hummed gently “A truly awful dream. Tell me, Nino, did you attend the hanging of those men in Oxford?”

“...Yes...Morbid curiosity would most likely have driven me there but several of my fellows said that we were to go and I could not escape the adventure. The crowd was awful, people cheered as their lives were ended. Most declared that it was too good for them...I...” Kazunari stood speaking as the older man wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. The younger blinked in surprise at the action, he had only been hugged by his father and sisters before and to have this perfect stranger do so was strange but he was warm and comfortable. His arms were tight but gentle around him and his hands were more so as they moved slowly up and down his back.

“I am more sorry than I could ever say for making you feel so afraid and I know that you will not believe me but the men killed were not the monsters but those that cheered” Ryo told him in a whisper. “To celebrate the death of somebody else is an awful thing, more so those that have done nothing wrong. For you to have witness that...I am so sorry”

“You apologise as though it was your fault” Kazunari breathed softly surprised as he found himself laying his head on the man’s shoulder and gently breathing in his scent. Ryo sighed heavily before saying;

“The death of those men wasn’t my fault, but forcing you to dream such things was...”

“It has not been that bad for some time but since witnessing the hanging I...I have often had such dreams...”

“I cannot have helped. Allow me some guilt in this matter, Nino, I deserve it...You said that your brother was the one that hanged you?”

“Yes...He said ‘My mother gave her life for you? How cruel...” Kazunari shivered a little tears threatening as he recalled the very realistic dream version of Edwin saying those words to him. It was the most common of his nightmares, his siblings hating him because their mother had died bringing him into the world. Never had they accused him of such, his father had outright told him that that wasn’t the case but for Kazunari it wasn’t something that could be so easily swept away.

“Would you hate Edwin or your sisters...Forgive me you have not said their names...”

“Hana, Ami, Toru...” Kazunari said promptly naming his sisters in their age order and Ryo chuckled pulling out of the hug enough that he could look him in the eye.

“If you had been the elder and your mother had died giving birth to them would you hate them?”

“No of course not...” Kazunari said, he had already spoke of this with his father when he was young but it made no difference. He had knew that he would not hating his siblings and he knew that they did not hate him, not truly, but they did not know that he was not right. That he was disgusting and abnormal.

“Then why would they hate you?

“Because I am not right...I am something that will only bring shame upon the family. As my grandfather already said many, many times, I am the one that will finally ruin the name Ninomiya for good...” Kazunari answered and surprisingly Ryo was almost harsh in his tone as he growled;

“Is your grandfather dead?”

“Yes...”

“Good then I will not need to be arrested for his murder. You are not going to ruin any name, Nino, yours or your families and your siblings would not hate you if they learned the truth...” Ryo told him and Kazunari wished more than ever that that was the truth but how would they stand by him if they learned the flaw in his character.

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“Your father. The man you describe, the light that comes to your eyes as you speak of him, any man that can bring about so much love from their child could not have raised children who would hate somebody for that which they cannot help” Kazunari blinked away an annoying tear that was clinging to his eyelash before he gave a smile, proud of the praise that was being heaped on his father. “You told me yourself that your father would not wish death on his enemy you think he would wish it on his beloved son? And your siblings...Do you believe them to be of such flawed character...”

“No! My siblings, my brother in particular, are just like my father*

“Then the next time you dream tell yourself that, tell yourself that they will love you and treasure you no matter what...”

TBC

A/N: I hope that this is okay >.<