Eros part 33
Jun. 1st, 2013 11:45 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
krystalkatz.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
krystalkatzficzThe first week of giving up smoking was a pure nightmare, not a single hour of the day went by when Nino didn’t have an argument with somebody. It got to the stage where the only person that would speak to him at work was Aiba and that was only tentatively. At home he and Jun had blazing rows that had ended up breaking a glass pane in the shower door and three cups. They had patches and the electronic cigarette that gave you nothing like the proper burn at the back of your throat or the buzz as your lungs relaxed around the smoke.
Nino knew that if one more person said ‘The first week is always the hardest’ he was going to punch them hard.
Almost everyone knew that he was leaving after his holiday now and he knew that there was speculation that he was getting married or had a lover. Everywhere he went people seemed to whisper frantically behind his back and he suspected that there was another poll somewhere in the works. His own work was once again mounting up but for some reason Jun was treating him like he was still his assistant.
“Here are your files…You know Aiba’s back now…You could get him to do this, it’s his job after all…” Nino snapped dropping the stack of files onto the desk watching as they formed a gentle cascade covering the work that Jun was actually working on
“And you could be more careful…If we’re going to England in only 2 days I have to finish this tonight and at this rate I’m still going to be here at 12am…” Jun snapped pushing his way through the stack of files “Fuck you’ve mixed them all up…”
“Sorry I didn’t mean…” Nino said an honest pang of guilt in his chest. He was tired of rumours and he had a pounding headache.
“No you never mean anything…The reason I asked you was because Aiba is busy with something else and you’re the only one that has some hope of working out his filing system because you were doing it while he was on holiday…I’m your boss, Ninomiya…But it seems like I should get a trained chimp in…”
“...Right maybe you should do that…Let’s see how much you like a chimp sucking you off…” Nino huffed turning on his heel and sweeping out of the office. What a fucking dick, he thought stalking his way back through the floor towards his desk and glaring at one or two people that tried to talk to him. He worked in silence doing everything that was in front of him and thinking about the stupid argument it was pathetic really and he knew that he shouldn’t have taken it or made it personal with the blow-job comment, he wanted to apologise but he knew that the minute he saw Jun one of them was going to get angry again, more so if Jun was still working on whatever it was he was doing.
Sighing he looked at his watch and groaned when he saw that it was already 6pm. Deciding that he would only make mistakes if he stayed any longer he shut down his computer and stretched out like a cat popping and clicking all of the painful muscles in his back. He grabbed his coat and headed out of the office another pang of guilt settling in his chest when he saw that Jun was still working hard. Taking a breath he squared his shoulders and went over to the office.
“Unless you’re here to apologise bugger off I’ve got better things to do…”
“…Wow what a way to motivate me into an apology…” Nino bit back sarcastically the apology that had been on his lips forgotten as his fists clenched tightly against the wood of the door frame. “Fuck it…I’ll see you later…” He muttered hurrying away before he could say something that he really didn’t mean.
He wondered around for a while and then rode the train for something to do not realising where he was going until he was there standing in front of a graveyard. Not just any graveyard but the one that they’d put Kaede in when his parents had refused to have anything to do with the body. He was tempted to turn and leave but he decided against it, something had brought him here and there was something’s that he needed to say. Taking a breath for courage he strode through the graveyard surprised at how well he remembered the path since he’d only been there once before. It wasn’t long until he’d found it and he sat down with a thump.
“Hey, Kaede, I’m sorry I haven’t been for a while…Well at all actually…Not since the day we put you here…Fuck…You know I’m crap at this kind of stuff but Jun got me some self-help books…Though he still wants me to go and see someone…I’m just thankful that he said that I could wait until after we got back from England…Anyway These books one of them said that I should confront the past and since…Well I don’t want to go home right now…Me and Jun are arguing…Nothing new there right? But this time it’s because we’re trying to quit smoking…And well were both saying some pretty nasty shit that neither of us meant so I removed myself from the situation and now I’m here talking to a stone…” Nino let out a laugh that he really didn’t feel looking at the name picked out in black and gold on the marble. He felt stupid for being here and talking like this but the books had said that it was a good idea to ‘face your conflict’ and this was one of the best places to start.
He, Jun and Kaede had formed a decent friendship over the years but there was still a lot that Nino couldn’t forgive himself and the other boy for. He took a deep, calming, breath looking around to make sure nobody else was there he thought about what he wanted to say and then started.
“I was so angry at you…I mean I think I still am…Though I’m just as angry at myself…The break that me and Jun had during college…Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that you were sleeping around bare? Fuck…If…If I had known…If I had caught it and given it to Jun…” Nino hugged his knees tightly breathing deep as he tried to push away the fear of what might have been. Thankfully it had never happened but he could still remember he had been so stupid he could have infected Jun. Jun knew that there had been a blip in their relationship he knew but he didn’t know the whole truth, that Kaede had been bare and that he had come inside him. “Jun…He’s so fucking…Pure…Still…I can’t believe it…I can’t believe he hasn’t got tired and dumped my arse yet…I would have done...I would never hurt him…Never so why do I feel like I am going to? Why is all this coming back now and not when you actually died?”
Nino could still remember the words Kaede had told him when he’d said that he needed to get checked out. The anger that had burnt through his soul and the way that he hadn’t been able to stop himself from hitting out at his friend and former lover. His punch had been so hard that he had broken his nose and almost caused him to pass out. When Nino had pushed away the angry cloud from his mind he’d realised that Kaede was bleeding and that his blood was on his hand.
Frantic washing revealed that he hadn’t broken his own skin and he booked himself and Jun in for a full range of STD tests. He hadn’t been honest why though, just telling his lover that it was better to be safe than sorry. Even now the fear drove Nino to have the tests every three months even though Jun was the only person he’d been with since. Again his lover didn’t know about the tests thinking that he was going to an arcade or something.
“There really is so much that I’m keeping from him…” He sighed chewing on his lip and wishing that he had a cigarette so that he had something to do with his hands. “If I told him do you think he’d hate me?”
“I highly doubt it…”
TBC
A/N: Dumdumda… So long…But I hope that you enjoy ^.^
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no subject
Date: 2013-06-01 11:00 am (UTC)even if it feels stupid it is necessary in order to keep going on!
Did Jun follow him???
Thank you for sharing!, you are in a role!!
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 10:38 am (UTC);-)
hehe yep I'm feeling productive xD
thanks for reading ^.^
no subject
Date: 2013-06-01 11:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 11:18 am (UTC)Thanks for reading ^.^
no subject
Date: 2013-06-01 12:21 pm (UTC)Maybe after Nino told everything he can become more relaxed ^^
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 10:30 am (UTC)he would feel better once he's told Jun ne xD
Thanks for reading ^.^
no subject
Date: 2013-06-01 03:30 pm (UTC)I can't... Omg! Nino!
thank you for the update C:
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 10:31 am (UTC)Thanks for reading ^.^
no subject
Date: 2013-06-01 05:05 pm (UTC)Poor Nino, he has been so worried. I hope Nino will be able to tell Jun soon.
Somehow I like their argument. It felt realistic.
Thanks for sharing!
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 10:42 am (UTC)There's a lot going on in his little mind ne >.<
hehe couple arguments are fun to write xD
Thanks for reading ^.^
no subject
Date: 2013-06-01 10:36 pm (UTC)If I remember correctly Nino and Kaede had a relationship before Nino start dating Jun, right? (I can`t tell, I will read again)
Jun followed Nino??
So many questions, can`t wait for the next
Thanks for the update.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 10:32 am (UTC)yep...Kaede was Nino's boyfriend before Jun
;-)
Thanks for reading ^.^
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 01:32 am (UTC)Jun followed nino???
waaa I want to know !!
thanks !! ;D
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 10:33 am (UTC):-)
Thanks for reading ^.^
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 02:43 am (UTC)Yeeeeaaaah!!!
Sooo happy!
I was quite said when you stopped this!
One of your best fics ever!!
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 10:35 am (UTC)I'm sorry >.< But i hope to finish it properly this time xD
^///^
I'm glad that you enjoy it xD
Thanks for reading ^.^
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 04:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 10:29 am (UTC);-)
Thanks for reading ^.^
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 06:19 am (UTC)Woah, it's getting clear now.. Nino always keeps what he feels to himself, that must be hard for him :(.
And who's answering him, Jun?
Aah, can't wait to read the next chapter!
no subject
Date: 2013-06-02 10:36 am (UTC)he's finally opening up ne, he will feel better when it's all out in the open xD
;-)
Thanks for reading ^.^